I read The Remarkable Journey of Charlie Price by Jennifer Maschari over spring break. The book is a beautiful story about a boy and his sister who long to get their mother back in their lives. So much so that it leads to heartbreaking choices. It made me think about the loved ones I have lost and how tempting it would be to change the circumstances just so I could have them back in my life one more day. I think death is surrounded by what-ifs and just-one-more-times.
What if we had that one more time? What would we say? How would our lives be changed if we could go back and see our loved ones one more time?
The first family member I remember losing when I was a kid was my Nana Ohs. She was truly one of a kind! There will never be anyone to take her place in the brash and blunt department. She was seriously outspoken and often hilarious. It was hard to know if it was Nana Ohs talking or the booze. But I loved her so much. I remember getting ice refills for her drinks often. But man….the wit on my Nana. Now that I am older….I think I can forgive her for the times that it was for sure the alcohol talking. At the time…part of me knew… but it still hurt. I would love to see my Nana Ohs again and give her another hug. I would say, “I love you and I forgive you.” This Beatles song always reminds me of her every time I hear it. Let it be.
I also thought about one of my best friends that I lost in 2013 to suicide. Sandy had THE BEST LAUGH! I will never forget her laugh or her carefree spirit. She was one of the funniest people I have ever met. When you lose someone to suicide the “What ifs” never seem to stop. What if I had called her that day? What if we had kept in better touch? Was there more I could have done to have gotten her help? So I really do wish I could see Sandy once again. I would have a lot of questions…but mostly I would give her a huge hug and say, “I love you and I forgive you….I hope you forgive me.” Every time I hear this song I think of Sandy.
That is the power of a beautiful book….to helps us remember, love and forgive our lost loved ones…and also to have the courage to go on….